Poems: The Portrait

With my wrist bound
in rope
you paint a picture 
of my heart
hang it on the wall
will it brighten 
will it bloom like a flower
as you grip my hair
and bring me to my knees
at your knees
where my soul finds salvation
dance with my synapses
find the balance
take the whole of me
my body is yours
you will destroy me 
and I will love you
as the marks begin to show
as the tears fall onto pale cheeks
as you bring me to my knees
there you will love me
and the painting of my heart
will bleed all over the room of our lives

-Madelina Horn

Horn sigil scarification exclusive.

Dearest daemons,

  I have received several messages regarding the new scar that many of you noticed in this live photo from my recent performance at The Edmonton Tattoo & Arts Festival 2013.

photo by Anthony Black

  I had my sigil/logo/trademark symbol scarred into my sternum area mid April by Russ Foxx. I had Michael Scorpio photograph the entire thing. The photos had not been released because they had been submitted to several magazines with several less than favorable offers. These photos are so beautiful + I really wanted them to be featured in a magazine. I got several offers but these photos deserved a cover + full feature, anything less would not be acceptable nor honor the team. After careful contemplation I feel it only appropriate for me to release this documentation of a life changing event, myself. 

  It was a very busy day, we knew we wanted to shoot the wound fresh, so I had to be glammed up before my appointment, then I had my friends + recent co-collaborators, 3 Inches of Blood, in town playing a show so I knew directly after the shoot I'd have to head straight to the show. 

  I was fairly confident I would be able to handle the pain due to my mental state + my recent studies on the gateway of pain + meditation on the subject. Russ placed the stencil + it was dead center perfect the first try. I laid down, we had some music playing, but I could never tell you what it was now. At this point my nerves started to kick in. I could feel the slight tingle of fear + anticipation from my forehead down into my toes. 

  Russ started to make the first cut + I was fine. Both Russ + Michael looked at me with surprise + announced I was not bleeding... at all. I was afraid this would happen. I wanted it to bleed for the photos. I wanted it to drip down + add vibrant colour to the images but no such luck. /This is a strange phenomena I have discovered with certain people who have something in common that I wont get into right now. I barely bled. As it went on it slowly got more painful, or maybe it didn't but my tolerance + strength slowly drained. I began to twitch + tear up. Eventually I would be full blown shaking with tears streaming down my face. 

the first cut by Russ Foxx photo by Michael Scorpio

Surgical precision by Russ Foxx photo by Michael Scorpio

Detailing by Russ Foxx photo by Michael Scorpio

  There is nothing quite like having a scalpel cut inside another cut with no freezing. It sets off all kinds of natural alarm defenses in the brain. I went into a dopey state. I felt like I was drunk. The chemicals my brain had released really were like nothing else I had experienced. The best way I can describe it is like somewhere in between being drunk + stoned only a little bit cleaner.

Entering the gateway of pain by Russ Foxx photo by Michael Scorpio

Trying to make the blood flow by Russ Foxx photo by Michael Scorpio

finished by Russ Foxx photo by Michael Scorpio

The money angle all photos by Michael Scorpio

When Russ finally gave me the word we were all done I breathed a sigh of relief + stood in front of the mirror. I was so happy + amazed with the precision. Michael had the lighting semi set already so I did some poses, we took some test shots, decided  on the lighting we likes + shot away. Soon after I got taped up + we all headed to the 3 Inches of Blood show. 

Madelina Horn + Russ Foxx photographed by Michael Scorpio

  

  It has been over a month now since it was done + it has healed beautifully. Keloiding only slightly + completely evenly. I am so happy with it. The only thing I had not considered was how painful overstretching the area would be after the fact. I waited almost a week after the procedure to resume aerial training + yoga practice. Backbends + any poses where my abdomen stretches extensively are still extremely painful. It feels as if the scar is ripping open again every time. I hope this stops soon but I have no idea how long that will take to subside.

  I would like to thank Russ Foxx for doing such a wonderful job + for being such a wonderful creative spirit in this world. Also, my partner, photographer, Michael Scorpio for his patience with my sometimes moody state during our shoots + somehow still making me laugh + look beautiful. Also special thanx to Crimson Empire in Edmonton for hosting this event. 

  I really hope you all find it as beautiful as I do. 

Sinfully,

Miss Horn

2012

I had a really fun, completely out of control, circus of a birthday party. I got to go to LA for a month. Performing the Albertabound Calgary tattoo convention + Laced Up by my love Sweet Carousel were so wonderful. Those are the only good things to come of 2012.

2012 was a struggle of a year with a lack of art, inspiration, love, wellbeing,... everything really. It was horrible I felt drained of my power for most of it. I'm ready to reclaim + dominate, so beware! I'm hungry for creations, travel, adventure, love, abundance!

That is a quick video from my birthday party. What a night! It's 2013 + I'm so excited for this year. Especially since it began with the much anticipated creation + release of my sigil(logo). 

So here we go BC, Mexico, Vegas, Hollywood + I can't wait to see what more! 

Here's to a magikal beginning!

Yours Infernally,

Miss Horn 

2011

My lovely daemons,

First of all thank you for supporting + helping spread the gospel of glamour. Our legion has become a wonderful family + none of what I have accomplished would be possible without you. The bigger our legion grows the bigger + better my life becomes. This past year has been such an amazing rollercoaster ride + the loops keep getting bigger so I can't wait to see what 2012 will behold! 2011 I travelled so much spending time in Norway, Sweden, Denmark, Montreal, Calgary, Niagara Falls, New York, Atlanta, Las Vegas. I was able to work with + for some amazing people including Chrome Division, Dimmu Borgir, Melt, Komor Kommando, Burn Bitch Burn, Louie Fleischauer of AMF Korsets, Sweet Carousel, Deviant Events, Torture Garden, Secretroom, Michael Maggot of MaggotFilms, Patric Ullaeus of Revolver Studios, Radiant Inc, Helsing Photo, Robert Matta of VonGutenberg, + of course my partner in crime, Michael Scorpio. This year, I have lived in 3 different countries, become vegan, fallen in love, had my heart broken, appeared in at least 6 different publications, starred in a horror film, performed an opening spot for Judas Priest, learned to spit fire, began my true devotion to yoga, + so much more. I'm sure I am forgetting a lot but as you can tell it has been quite the year.
Every year things seem to get more + more amazing. I am so excited to journey into 2012! I am already working on a new show, amoung other things. I can't wait to give you even more! I love you so much you can't even imagine. I hope we all experience our best year yet + help each other do it!

Love is the Law.

Infernally,

Miss Horn

Torture Garden Montreal

Hello beautiful deamons + deamonesses, 
I thought I would tell you all about my new show debuted at Torture Garden Montreal on November 26th, 2011. My show of course starts out with a stage covered in egg, salt, + oil so that when I enter onto it wearing towering 7 inch heels I am bound to be slipping + sliding. Once I make my wobbly entrance smoking a cigarette, I put it out perfectly on my tongue... this part of the show stood alone. So first thing first, to strip off my corset, of course I wore my most difficult corset to get in + out of ensuring that I would get stuck + need my lovely assistant, Lylia, to pop my out of it. Next to light my torches to begin the fire segment. My fuel conveniently gets switched with water to continue with the theme of the show. With my torches thoroughly soaked in water + not able to light, I continue dancing clumsily around the lubed stage. A wonderful onlooker tries to come to my aid + pours alcohol over the torches in an attempt to save me. The already water logged torches hold a dull flame at best but when I grab my other fuel to attempt a spit I take a swig of the toxic substance + appropriately the torch goes out right before I can spit. Now I have stage assistants + managers scrambling to relight my torches while I wait + let the poisonous fuel sit + absorb into my mouth. All part of the show of course. In a last gasp the torch gets lit again + I finish the show by spitting a few fireballs. I take a bow + exit the stage. Burlesque originated with comedy after all.

Satire aside, I do apologize to fans + attendees of TGM that I could not perform a real show for you. I had fun regardless. I thank the wonderful promoters + TG London staff for having me. It was a wonderful weekend. I love Montreal + every time I leave I miss it more than the last. 
 In keeping with the theme of the trip I was in Niagara Falls for a few days after Montreal on my way to Orlando. Upon crossing the border on my way to Buffalo-Niagara Airport, the officers at border patrol interrogated me, ripped my luggage apart, yelled at me, finger printed + photographed me. They proceeded to turn me away because with so much recent travel back + forth from Canada to the USA on my record, as a freelance artist I have "loose ties" to Canada, so even vacation travel is "too suspicious". I hope to get this resolved soon + hopefully resume my trip to Orlando + beyond. For now I am working on a new stage show with my close friend + favorite designer, Elise of Sweet Carousel Corsetry. 
 Thank you for your continued support. I love you deamons! 
 Infernally,
 Miss Horn

Fucking for Fame...

Here is an issue that seems to pop up every once in a while in association with myself. I respect my fans + friends enough to be open + honest so I am finally going to address this. Hopefully this will finally put the issue to bed... no pun intended. It seems as though most of you know I have been romantically linked to a few well known men. I am not going to confirm or deny anyone specific, that is not the point of this post. As a female in the entertainment industry, I suppose it is almost inevitable that you will be accused of canoodling with certain powerful people for a more lucrative position, or opportunity within the industry. I suppose it is a right of passage + in that way I am flattered that people are even talking about me at all. Usually, I let people believe what they want to but as a strong, willful, driven, + ass-bustingly, hardworking woman, I want to make my point absolutely clear. I have worked myself to the edge of sanity on multiple occasions to be able to do what I love. I have gone without sufficient sleep, or food, stayed in what most would consider "un-inhabitable" conditions, put my safety at risk many times, performed for free even when I have been poor, all for the sake of my art. I would die for it. I would rather die than live anything other than for my artisitic dreams + vision. No one else could do this for me. Anyone in the industry knows that the concept of fucking for fame is pretty ridiculous anyway. If only it were that easy... I mean really! It comes with the territory that many of the men I have dated are also in the entertainment industry, I suppose I can relate to a certain lifestyle more similar to my own. There is obviously nothing I can do to prove this other than say with the integrity of my character that I would never be interested in someone because of what they could possibly do for my career. I am far too emotionally driven for that. One of the men in question did give me a wonderful opportunity, I should add that he was the only one to do so. I took it of course + I am forever grateful to him for believing in me. I genuinely loved + still love him, I would never have faked that for anything. Let me repeat that although I have dated some well known men, only one has ever helped with a career opportunity. I am a self-taught, self-created, one woman show + force of nature. Do not underestimate what sheer force of will can do. My mind is far more powerful than my vagina. XOMH

Fake blood = Fake art

Dearest daemons...

So I recently did my first photoshoot with fake blood. This experience has lead me to explain why it will be the only one ever. It is no secret that I am a blood fetishist + completely fascinated with all aspects of the fluid. I am also a fairly vocal vegan. All those things aside, I am an artist. I am truely passionate about modelling + performing. I like to make modelling like a performance that gets captured in stills. I need to feel the energy of the shoot whether it's a sexual, cutesy, serious, horror, haute, whatever the theme, I need to feel it. Now I did not feel anything but sticky + uncomfortable using fake blood. To be quite honest, I did not feel proud of the work after I had done it, I felt ashamed. It was fake. I started thinking about this + soon after was contact for potential hire in another shoot requiring blood. I already knew I would not do it. This is where you're going to want to call me a hypocrite + burn me at the stake. I suggested we use real blood. Since buying human blood is illegal, the only option is animal blood. I know anyone reading this is scratching their head right now, considering all my work to support animal rights. I think it's aweful too but remember, I am an artist. In order for me to feel something it has to be real, there has to be energy. So I proposed this new photographer buy blood + donate the same amount of money spent on the blood to a charity that supports animals in some way. I know I am a hypocrite. I know a donation does not make the support of animal slaughter, however small, ok. The only thing I can say is that I would use human blood everytime, if I had the choice, even if humans were being slaughtered the way animals are. It's a terrible world we live in, equally to all it beauty.

I hope none of you lose your respect for my work. I appreciate your unwaivering support so far! I would not be able to live my dream if it wasn't for my amazing deamons. Thank you for your understanding!

All heavy controversy aside, here are the images from the shoot:

*some photos were deleted before I could share this blog. I have uploaded the rest under the same title as the blog here:
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/MadelinaHorn

You can find more of Chris' work on MM:
http://www.modelmayhem.com/1582158